“IT ONLY TAKES TWO OR THREE”
Matthew 18:15-20
(09-07-08)

It is said that you can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family.
Which, at times, makes family that much harder to love.
What then about a church?
The church is a strange creature,
it’s a group of people that many of us would not normally associate with
as friends outside of Sunday
and it isn’t a family that we are born into,
but of course in a very real way the church is a community of both family and friends. We are brothers and sisters in Christ and we are all children of God.
And in Christ, we share a bond which runs deeper than any friendship,
we are called to love one another as we would love our own selves.
The church is a wonderfully diverse community of people,
even as we look around this morning
we can see that we are a gathering of many ages, many ethnic origins, many backgrounds. If we were to get to know each other better
we would no doubt discover that many of us have different interests and tastes.
In fact, beyond our common worship
there might not be much that we share in common.
We are a diverse and varied lot.
When this diversity and variety come together great things are possible.
Mutual understanding, creative learning, sacrificial loving
are part of the gift that God gives us in our diversity.
But because we are so varied and diverse,
because we are not the same,
when our lives intersect with one another,
there also arises the potential for conflict.

Jesus was more than aware that even within the community of the church,
the gathering of the disciples,
there was no immunity from conflict and quarrel.
Perhaps that’s why he spoke so often on forgiveness and humility.
Our text this morning from Matthew 18
is often referred to as a guide when dealing with issues of church conflict.
If the words Matthew 18 seem to roll off my lips,
its probably because I have quoted or have heard the reference quoted
more times than I care to remember during my years in ministry,
whether at the level of the local congregation, the Presbytery,
the Synod or the General Assembly.
Our Book of Forms, a guide to Presbyterian polity and administration,
clearly spells out that in cases of church discipline,
before initiating a disciplinary case,
it is the duty of the accuser to meet with the alleged offender
to seek resolution of the issue,
citing Matthew 18 as the Biblical warrant.

So lets take a closer look at exactly what Jesus was saying in our text this morning. Many of us might be familiar with the words of our text already.
But lets also be clear about the context of the words.
If another member of the church sins against you,
go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone.
If that works, great, you have been reconciled.
The context for Jesus’ words is the community of the church.
But much of what is said here would also seem to be common sensical
and applicable to other areas of our lives.
If you’ve been wronged, or believe you’ve been wronged,
there is no Biblical warrant to sit and stew over the injustice that has been
or has been perceived to have been committed against you.
Don’t let it fester, don’t wallow in your self pity,
don’t let the pain build up into rage or fantasies of revenge.
Jesus says, go and face the situation.
Seek out the brother or sister who you believe has sinned against you and speak to them. And do it alone.

How often is our first response to conflict to involve someone else,
to widen the circle of those who are affected by the conflict?
How many times does a simple misunderstanding or difference of opinion
turn into a clan war or even a church split
all because one party did not seek out the other quietly
and without involving a whole host of others?
We would save ourselves untold sorrow if we would heed this first command.
Go and speak with the other and do it alone.

Of course there are times when that doesn’t work or isn’t appropriate.
Sometimes people don’t listen
and other times we don’t feel safe meeting with a person alone.
In situations of abuse in particular,
it is very difficult and often very dangerous for the abused to meet alone with the abuser. The Presbyterian Church in Canada, through policies like Leading with Care,
which helps to ensure a climate of safety for our children, youth and vulnerable adults, clearly states that in allegations of abuse,
it is our moral and spiritual obligation to report such allegations to the proper authorities.

This brings us to the second part of Jesus’ command.
If a one on one approach does not work,
or possibly, if it cannot reasonably be carried out,
then take one or two others along with you,
so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses.
So now, when the first approach is rejected, we involve the witness of others.
Again the intent is reconciliation, not intimidation or escalation.
However, if even the presence of witnesses does not lead to the resolution of the conflict, then Jesus tells us to take the issue before the whole church community.
Again and again, the process is structured to appeal
to the sense of community within the individuals who are members of the church.
My reading of this is that it goes all the way back to the creation story in Genesis,
where God, who is described in the plural form,
creates life and creates human life also in the plural form.
The intent behind creation is community, with God and with one another.
The only way we truly come to love the God whom we cannot see
is to love the brother or sister we see so clearly before us.
So by enlarging the sense of our connectedness to God and to each other,
in cases of conflict we appeal to the innate nature of God’s created people,
to seek reconciliation and peace with one another as we would with God.
And now here comes the kicker.
If even the witness of the church fails to bring the offender to reconciliation,
then, says Jesus, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

Here we need to stop for a moment and reflect.
Commentators have long suggested
that the words attributed to Jesus in this section of Matthew’s gospel
seem awkward since the idea of the church and church membership
appear to be more fully developed here
than would have been appropriate by this point in Jesus’ ministry.
The only other place in Matthew’s gospel where the word church is used
is when Jesus says to Peter after Peter’s confession of Jesus as the Messiah,
that Peter would be the rock on whom he would build his church.
In fact the word church is never used at all in any of the other three gospels.
So are the words we are reading
perhaps a case of the gospel writer Matthew using the ideas and teachings of Jesus
to speak to the need for church discipline at the time he wrote his gospel?

One could make such an argument,
especially if we read the words of Jesus
to treat the offender who doesn’t repent as a Gentile and tax collector,
to mean that the church is to drive out those who are unrepentant
and not to associate with those who are considered outside the bounds of faith.
Gentiles and tax collectors are terms to describe the ones who are considered outsiders, those who are unacceptable in some way or another.

Many people point to this verse for their justification
of bringing to an end the process of seeking reconciliation.
I tried, we tried, we all tried.
But since the other person won’t budge, won’t repent, won’t admit wrong,
we will now wash our hands of him or her.
Excommunication would have been the ecclesial process of turfing out the offender.
And that’s where we all too often find ourselves in the church.
We end up in a disciplinary process because we’ve run out of options.

But what if these aren’t Matthew’s interpretation of Jesus’ teachings
geared towards the situational context of the early church?
What if Jesus said these words, just like the Bible records?
What if the Jesus who said that upon Peter the rock he would build his church
knew already what that church would look like,
even if it wouldn’t come to pass until years after he had died and been resurrected?
Of course the problem we encounter then is
how did Jesus treat Gentiles and tax collectors?

We might begin by asking Matthew the gospel writer himself,
who was a tax collector before Jesus came and called him to follow him.
We could ask the hordes of tax collectors such as Matthew and his cohorts
about how Jesus treated tax collectors,
about how he sat with them in their homes and even ate with them,
how he defended his association with them in the face of charges from the Pharisees, saying I desire mercy, not sacrifice
for I have come to call not the righteous, but sinners.

We could ask the Samarian woman at the well how Jesus treated Gentiles,
about the man who spoke with her and told her everything about who she was
and accepted her even when her own people would have shunned her.
We could ask the Syro-Phoenician woman whose daughter was healed by Jesus
in response to her persistent and courageous faith.
We could ask the Roman Gentile Centurion who sought a cure for his servant from Jesus, of whom Jesus said, truly I tell you, in no one in Israel have I found such faith.
So when Jesus says that we are to treat those who won’t even listen to the church
as a Gentile and a tax collector,
what are we to make of that command?

Doesn’t it mean that running out of options is never really an option?
The frightening possibility exists
that treating someone who has offended us as a Gentile and a tax collector
might just mean that we are to treat them
with the radical, hard and sometimes offensive grace that is embodied in Jesus himself! Granted, this is hard.
Conflict is never easy.
And so perhaps its fitting that the response to conflict,
even the response of Jesus,
is not just a black and white answer.
Its not a case of just applying a formula,
waiting for two days and finding that everything is all better.
We need to work through it with fear and trembling,
but we do need to work through it and not leave it to fester
and the last three verses of our text this morning tell us why its so important to do so.

Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven,
and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.
Again, truly I tell you, if two of you agree on earth about anything you ask,
it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.
For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.
Listen to that last part again.
Where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.
Why is it so important that we slog through the difficulty of addressing conflict? Because what happens in the church is vitally important.

What happens in the church, says Jesus,
has the ability to affect the things of the heavenly kingdom.
What happens in the church, if even just two agree on something,
can affect the desire and will of God.
How we love or fail to love affects our relationships both to others and to God.
Maybe, as Jesus suggests, in our dealings with others,
we are not only learning to love,
but we are also constantly shaping heaven.

It only takes two or three to know that Jesus is with us.
As difficult and challenging as conflict and its resolution is,
the great hope in all of this is that when people do agree,
when people are united,
when people are reconciled to one another
and seek the regaining of trust, confidence, peace, joy and love,
amazing things are possible.

So my friends, the encouragement is, the gospel is,
that what happens in the church matters
and God uses the church to affect his kingdom reign on earth and in heaven.
It only takes two or three to make it happen.
Every church knows its share of conflicts and as I have said earlier,
sometimes it seems that in the church we merely go from one conflict to another.
But lets not forget that even in the intricate and delicate world of dealing with conflict, Jesus promises to be with us.
It only takes two or three.
And when we agree, when the church agrees, so much is possible.
So what is Jesus calling on us to agree on?
What is this church community, you and I,
what are we being called to bind on earth and loose in heaven?

Conflict saps the church of energy and vitality.
Unity, says Jesus, leads to unlimited potential.
It only takes two or three.
Which two of three of you will join together
to bind the forces of evil, hurt and pain in your small part of the world?

Which two of three of you will join together
agreeing to begin to pray for someone or some situation,
knowing that when you agree,
God hears your prayers in a powerful way?

Which two or three of you will gather in Jesus’ name
to reach out to the one who feels shunned, neglected, isolated, forgotten,
perhaps even abused, like a Gentile or a tax collector?

Which two or three of you,
as we approach two pivotal elections in two neighbouring countries,
still scarred by the horrors of 9-11,
which two or three of you will commit to work
for peace, trust, love and grace between people,
for that which unites rather than that which divides?
Which two or three of you will remember
that we are meant for relationships,
with God and with one another,
and that we cannot claim to love God
if we won’t learn to love one another?

Which two or three of you will realize
that in the church and through the church,
God has great things in mind for his creation?

It only takes two or three.
So why not find one or two others
and in the name of Jesus the Christ, the resurrected one,
who has promised to be among us,
help bring about something of his amazing kingdom,
on earth as it is in heaven?

And to God be the glory, now and forevermore, Amen!